Do You Have Any Fucking Idea Who I Am?

month

May 2013

59 posts

Mumsy goes back into the hospital tomorrow. Burning out fast. I can’t do this shit anymore.

I’m one of those assholes that don’t get tickets. I just fucking don’t. I got pulled over yesterday. Suspended registration. The dude had every reason to take the car BUT he gave me a fix it ticket instead. Like every fucking time. This isn’t a complaint and it isn’t gloating … it’s just fucking weird. I’m not all that cute, I get insanely...

I ate an artichoke today. I don’t even know anymore …

Goddamn, I have a lot of shit to do.

It doesn’t bother me so much that I rarely, if ever, receive questions or fan mail so much as I fucking hate fucking spam.

Tomato Assault for One or Two on Saturday, June... →

Charity event’s costume contest and inflatable activities all lead up to giant tomato fight with 40,000 lbs. of tomatoes WANT

That one time I wrote to Maria Bamford and she answered back. Still awesome.

I’m keeping the hair. At least for a little while longer. I’ve had these extensions in for nearly two weeks and EVERYBODY loves them (except the boss, but fuck her). The joke is that I keep waiting for her to fire me. We all know she won’t. I keep inching closer and closer to her boundaries. I’m not normally an instigator … really. It’s been a liberating...

You know, I’m kinda not okay with loud noises.

I accidentally saw a therapist yesterday. Actually, I talked with a friend that I didn’t consider a friend until yesterday. I don’t very often have a jealous streak and often when I do it’s because the third party is neglecting me. My jealousy with her was because she kept managing to get in the way of me spending any time with Patrick. It wasn’t always on purpose but she...

Boss of seven years docks me for being ten minutes late on my birthday. Boss of three weeks takes me out for tacos, sushi and drinks just becausies. Hmmm …

brainslush replied to your post: ZOMFG IRON MAN ZOMFG What did you think? The dialog was weak and the kid was annoying but, other than that, it was pretty terrific.

Penguin boy ^_^

I will NOT buy any more Body Shop Groupons … I swear.

ZOMFG IRON MAN ZOMFG

I don’t very often joke about suicide. Actually, what happens is I’ll make a comment and it’ll upset someone and they’ll tell me that I shouldn’t be joking like that. My feelings are left invalidated because it bothered someone else. I’m left with the crushing pressure to lie and carry on because the darkness and pain I feel is offensive. Yesterday was the...

WORST FUCKING BIRTHDAY EVER

My car died. Fucking starter fucking died at fucking work when I tried to leave to go buy a fucking notary journal. I’ve dealt with smoke and ash all fucking day from the goddamn Glendale and Camarillo fires. No fucking presents (not that that really matters). I can’t fucking go out ‘cause all fucking S wants to do is fucking smoke weed. BECAUSE I DON’T FUCKING SMOKE WEED...

I’m pretty sure the only reason I still work here is the occasional free ice cream or pizza days.

I share my birthday with Christina Hendricks and Dule Hill.

Dear advertisers, Next cockface who sends me a mother’s day promo ad is gonna get their place torched.

My dream of being called the “hot musician chick with the tats” has finally come to fruition.