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“We’re” watching the musical episode of Buffy.
There are few things I can tolerate less than someone singing along with a song that’s already terrible by it’s own virtue only now it’s way worse because they’re sooooo off key.
| Kim Kardashian: | I'd like to marry this dude and spend $10 million dollars on a publicity wedding please oh and then 72 days later I'd like a divorce |
| America: | Well sure why not? |
| Britney Spears: | I want to get hitched in a chapel in Vegas and have the marriage annulled fifty-five hours later because I didn't know what the hell I was doing |
| America: | Whatever you want! |
| Carmen Electra: | I want to get married in Vegas to this basketball player and then annul the marriage nine days later cuz we were both drunk lololololololololol |
| America: | Okay, sounds like fun! |
| Gay couple: | We would like to get married and spend our lives together and possibly adopt unwanted children to give them a good home and - |
| America: | WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS THAT IS DISGUSTING AND WRONG YOU DEFILE THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE SO GTFO |
Has anyone seen my panties?
Shhh … I’m drunk and hiding in a stranger’s bathroom.
No, YOU have a date in five minutes and just managed to get out of the shower.
Fuck.
I fucked up again. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go attempt to have a good time at some hipster oasis.
If anyone needs me, I’ll be hiding from the mai tai drinkers.
No YOU have the giggles and an undeniable urge to own parakeets and field mice.
WHY DO YOU HATE ME YOU FACIST FUCKS!?
I NEED MY INTERNETS ON MY TERMS! YOU BLEEDING ASSHOLES STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!!!
Love,
Starfish
| A : | You're sick and clearly wonderful. Let's cavort "soonish". I'm sorry in advance if groping is involved. I have a condition. Lou Gehrig's other disease. |
| S: | Perfect. I'm technically allergic to pants and some plastics. Not bees though. Just in case. |
| A: | You never know when a gentleman caller will bring bees. |